Waiting for the Sun
by Innloine
Summary: A "what-if" story involving Moiraine and Cormanes from NS. AU
1. Default Chapter

Waiting for the Sun

Moiraine remembered the first time she had felt his heartbeat against her chest. Slow, steady, and strong. In his arms, the world felt right; everything in its place, and she safe. They had met when she was fifteen, he seventeen, and in no time at all he had swept her off her feet. If not for her father, she would have married him within that first year. As it turned out, the wedding took place ten years after they meet, five after her father's death.

The first three years were bittersweet. She loved Cormanes with all her heart, but living on his grandmother's estates was horrid. The crone was constantly pinching Moiraine, telling her to "grow some meat back there". Or even worse, asking improper questions about the young couple's bedroom situation. She made no secret of her wish to see Moiraine fat with child. Eventually, she got used to the questions and pinches, but it didn't make life easier. She wanted to bear children for Cormanes, yet, it seemed the Pattern was against them.

Which is why when the local Reader deemed her sickness to be the result of pregnancy, she was as overjoyed as the crone. Cormanes seemed pleased, if restrained. It was then that he suggested they move into one of his House's newly built manors in South Cairhien.

Moiraine was filled with joy as they made their move into this new abode. As she grew with child, she felt she might burst with happiness. Cormanes spoiled her as best he could...he was a busy man now, Lord of a small estate. Moiraine didn't mind, she knew he loved her.

Raidon was born on an abnormally hot autumn day. When they placed him in Cormanes arms, the man's eyes filled with tears.

Kissing her softly he said, "He looks like his mother. His beautiful mother."

The next five years would pass at a dizzying pace. Raidon grew into a horse lover, and was constantly running up and down the manor's halls. Cormanes was often in town on business of some sort, leaving Moiraine to handle the estate's affairs. Life left little time for them as a couple.

On her thirtieth naming day, Cormanes took her on a midnight ride through the nearby woods. They rode in silence, until they reached a clearing with a small hill.

"Here, this is the place."

Moiraine followed his lead and dismounted. "How did you know about it? I don't recall these woods being good for hunting."

Pulling her down next to him he said, "I was looking for a place to take you."

It was like she was fifteen all over again. His kiss started out soft, then gradually grew more forceful. He slipped his hand underneath her skirts, resting it on her inner thigh. At first, she couldn't figure out why she craved him so much. Until she remembered it had been a good two years since they had last made love. When his fingers brushed against her lower lips, she felt she'd go insane from want.

"Cormanes..."

"Yes?"

"Make love to me."

Little did they realize, that night would lead to their second child. This time they were blessed with a daughter, Jadyn.

"She favors you so much, you wouldn't even know I was her mother."

Cormanes flashed that smile of his. "It's to make up for Raidon, my wife."

_My wife? Why would he call me that? _It seemed foolish that she would nick pick at such a trivial thing, but there was a time when she was his love, his heart, his soul. Now she was simply a _wife_.

The crone had come down to see her great-granddaughter. There was no more pinching, thankfully. Instead, she received the occasional "You did well, girl" and a pat on the head.

One night, after nursing Jadyn, Moiraine found herself unable to get to sleep. Cormanes wasn't in bed, as usual. Normally she would lie in bed until sleep came or the baby cried, but this time she decided to try and find him.

"...no, boy. She's a good woman. Given you son and daughter."

"Yes I know, but..."

The conversation stopped suddenly when Moiraine entered the foyer. "Did I interrupt?"

"No. Grandmother and I were just talking about things going on in town. But what are you doing up? You should be resting." He smiled. He was always smiling.

"Yes, girl, that babe will keep you busy soon enough. Best to rest while you can."

Try as she might, Moiraine got no further in her quest for answers. Every time she opened her mouth to protest, one of them would jump in. They talked her all the way back to the bedchamber.

"Now, my wife, sleep well." He kissed her on the forehead before departing with his grandmother.

After the birth of their daughter, Cormanes seemed to lose interest in family life. Moiraine found herself acting as father and mother, in addition to Lady of the estate. Those two years were hard, leaving Moiraine feeling older than her thirty two years. The appearance of an Aes Sedai, Cadsuane Melaidhrin, didn't help matters. Apparently, the crone was a wilder like Moiraine-she had tried to keep that hidden. All of which made Jadyn of great interest to the Tower.

The stress was getting to be too much. An absent husband, rambunctious children, an Aes Sedai watching her... She felt like imploding.

It all came to head not long after Cadsuane Sedai's arrival. The manor was unusually quiet, ableit with the squeals of the children. Raidon had taken off his small clothes and was running through the halls as naked as the day he was born. Moiraine had no choice but to chase after him, as he wound himself towards some apartments near the rear. She was grateful they were empty. Even more grateful when he selected a room to enter. But when her son opened the door, his cheerful shouts stopped as if they had never been. Shifting Jadyn to her other hip, Moiraine followed.

Cormanes was sitting in the bed, staring at Raidon with wide eyes. The blonde wench was all but falling as she tried to cover herself.

If not for the children, Moiraine would have killed them both then and there.


	2. Never Coming Home

Never Coming Home

(A/N: lyrics are by Sting)

* * *

_"...you can't take it any more..."_

There was hurt inside Moiraine, but it was overshadowed by her anger. She had given him twenty years of her life and two children besides. Yet he threw her aside like so much garbage after his affair had been uncovered. Life became so unbearable, she packed a chest of clothes and moved her and the children into a local inn.

_"...And in your imagination you're a thousand miles away. Because too many of his promises got broken on the way..."_

She had left him a letter explaining how she felt, but not before she sent a few to bankers detailing her plans to dissolve their marriage. She didn't trust Cormanes to have his children's best interest at heart, let alone her's. She had yet to hear from him, which wasn't all too surprising. His mistress - who's name she refused to learn - was a want-to-be spy. Moiraine had spotted her a few times trying to follow her while shopping for the children. She almost pitied the girl. Almost.

_"...I'm going to live my life... I'm going to live my life in my own way..."_

Moiraine was starting to hate this song; it struck too close to home. The singer wasn't even a gleeman, but a solider from Far Madding. His only drink had been water, so he wasn't drunk, and although she was far from an expert, to her ears his voice sounded clear and pleasant. _Or maybe you just think he's cute._ He _was_ attractive. Taller than Cormanes, his olive complexion was complimented by his mahogany eyes and dark hair. She must have been staring harder than she realized, for by the end of his song he was staring back. Blushing, she gave a weak smile and quickly looked away.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you, but you were the only patron to notice my singing."

Light, why should his voice send shivers through her? "I...that song...I've never heard it before."

His smile made her blush deeper. "It is a song my grandfather used to sing. And to be honest, the only one I know how to sing."

"It is very nice," Moiraine couldn't recall the last time a conversation had been so difficult for her."Do you care to join me for some wine?" Now she sounded like a tavern wench!

"It would be my honor...?"

"Moiraine."

"Moiraine. I am Aris Baylor. It is a pleasure," at the last word, he gave a soft kiss to her hand.

She felt like a tomato. "You are a solider? From Far Madding?" He nodded. "Then what brings you here, General Baylor?"

It was now his turn to blush. "I wish to be a general no longer, my lady. I've seen enough men maimed, women raped, children killed, to last me five lifetimes. What about you? I don't believe I've ever seen a noblewoman and her children living in an inn." She must have looked as startled as she felt, for he added, "I've been staying here for a fortnight. I've...seen you around."

It was awkward at first, but after two bottles of wine Aris and Moiraine were laughing and joking like old friends. By the end of the night, Moiraine joined him on stage to sing a duet. She hadn't sang since she was in the nursery, but she was drunk, and didn't care.

_"In his imagination she's a universe away. Too many of his promises got broken on the way. So she wrote him in a letter all the things she couldn't say. And she told him she was never coming home..."_

By the end of the song they were breathless and flushed. Aris walked her back to her room, to where her sleeping children lay.

"Your voice is lovely, Moiraine." And with that, he kissed her.

The following morning was the first time in years she had awoken with a smile on her face. Her good mood seemed contagious. Jadyn and Raidon were dancing around the room, making it difficult to get them dressed. She was almost tempted to let them roam free. Humming a tune, they walked down to try and find some breakfast. Moiraine could admit, at least to herself, that she was happy to see Aris waiting for them at table in the back.

Her joy was short lived. No more than two feet away from him was that blonde. As if laying on eyes on the wench wasn't enough, she approached Moiraine with a king's arrogance.

"I saw you last night. If you think Cormanes will let that man raise his children, you are wrong."

Moiraine didn't remember hitting the girl, or trying to scratch her eyes out, but apparently she did just that. Someone was holding her back, while Aris tried to control the children. They seemed determined to mimic their mother and had joined the fight. Jadyn decided her doll was best as a weapon, whereas Raidon kicked anything that moved. The sight was so ridiculous, a laugh ripped out of Moiraine throat, and soon the rest of the common room followed. The poor thing had to run out of the inn bloodied and tearful.

Moiraine's mirth didn't last long; Cormanes was going to try and take her babies. As if he could read her thoughts, Aris whispered, "He won't take them. I won't let him hurt you."


	3. In the Shadows

In the Shadows

(A/N: Yes I know it's been a really looooooong time coming. Sorry!)

* * *

Cormanes was beside himself with rage; he could not believe Moiraine would leave him for a general-turned-want-to-be-gleeman.

"Stop looking so glum. After all, you seemed just fine with her being gone until you found out about Aris."

"Grandmother, would you -"

"I've seen this Aris. I must say, if I was her age she'd have a bit of competition."

"Grand-"

"Very attractive young man. A touch on the thin side, but nothing a couple years of my cooking couldn't fix."

"Are you done, old woman?"

"Who you calling old, boy?"

"Cormanes bit his tongue, not out of respect, but realization. Besides her snow-white hair, his grandmother did not look her age at all. Before he could question her, she rose.

"I'm going to bed now. You be a good boy."

Pushing his grandmother out of his mind, Cormanes gathered his cloak and stalked off towards the stables. He would see this Aris himself!

His foul mood only got worse when his eyes landed on Cadsuane Sedai. The woman was constantly smiling at like a village with a secret, and when he asked why, she would simply sniff at him.

"Evening, Aes Sedai."

"Boy," Cormanes tried not to bristle, "it's a tad late to be running around."

"I like to take rides at night."

"Phaw! I would think a Cairhienin would lie better. I'd tell you to take my advice and stay away from Moiraine, but we both know you're not that smart."

"Thank you for your advice, Aes Sedai, but I must be off now." Without waiting for her response,

Cormanes continued onwards towards the stables.

The common room of the inn was only a third full and thus subdued. Cormanes could not be positive, but it seemed a few of the patrons were snickering at him. Ignoring them, he found a table in a relatively dark corner. Although the place was far from crowded, it took the innkeeper almost half an hour to approach him.

"What may I get you, my lord?"

"You mean I'm not invisible? Well, since you can see me now, I'd like your finest wine."

"I think I'll join him, Zahrit."

The owner of the voice matched the description of Aris perfectly. A quick scan of the room showed no signs of Moiraine.

"She and the children are sleeping." Aris had seated himself, and had received his wine while Cormanes was not looking; he himself was still without.

"I'll go straight to the point, seeing as I have no patience for men like you, General. Assuming you are a general and that wasn't a lie you spoke in order to see my wife in her skin. I want you out of this town. Indeed, I'd like you out of the country, but I won't be demanding. Leave my family alone."

Aris gave a great booming laugh that drew glances from the other patrons. "Leave your family alone? You haven't been a husband or father since the day your son was born. Oh, I was a general, no lie there. I won't lie and say I'd be put off seeing Moiraine in her skin, but I am not you. I value women for more than some three minute pleasure."

"How dare you speak to me that way!"

"You're right. I apologize. I did not mean three minutes, I meant two."

Fury as he had never known it engulfed Cormanes. Lacking his sword, he was unable to kill the boy, so he settled with hitting that smug smile off that too pretty face. Aris stroke back, not with fist, but with his cup. The taste of blood filled Cormanes mouth, and he found himself staring at the ceiling. His view was broken when Aris peered down at him.

"Now, I'm going to get straight to the point, since I can't stand men like you, _my lord_. Leave Moiraine and her children alone."

Cormanes did not remember riding home nor making it to his rooms. There were tears in his eyes and he did not know why: It was not the first fight he had lost, after all. Try as he might, he could not stop the tears from falling, and there seemed no end to them. Curling into a ball on the floor, he cried until he was exhausted and fell unconscious.

Dawn found him sore and puffy, but also painfully aware of the truth: He loved her. He had done everything in his power to push her away, gave her a multitude of reasons to hate him, yet there was no denying what he felt.

Breakfast was cold and empty as usual, but now he knew the reason. Without the children there making faces and noises, meals were utterly boring. Running the estates was a painful bore without Moiraine helping him. He even lost interest in Lelia; the girl had been fun, but now she annoyed him. It seemed his perspective changed all thanks to being hit by a wine cup. Just thinking of that night still caused Cormanes' nose to twitch in pain.

Against his better judgment, he went to the common room again, only in daylight hours this time. The moment he stepped in his eyes found her. Dear Light, she was beautiful. He had not seen her look so jubilant in years, in more years than he cared to count. The cheerfulness faded, however, when her eyes met his. In those dark pools he saw all the years of hurt, all the scars he had made, and he hated himself.

Before he could take another step closer to her, Aris appeared brandishing a sword. "I thought I told you to stay away."


End file.
